A late first impression (5 min read)

Hello, and welcome to my secret internet utopia.

Most of you know nothing about me. I suppose this is intentional in the sense that the people I know may not enjoy sitting around reading the same thoughts that I rant about for hours. It is also intentional in the sense that I did a fucking awful job at introducing myself to this blog. I may as well be a faceless twitter egg.

However, it’s never too late for a first impression, is it? It’s not like the air of mystery that surrounds me will be completely broken by telling a little about myself. (you wish it was that easy.)

There are many things you could know about me, my height, my IQ, my favorite food… etc. I’m going to try to do the courtesy of only saying what is relevant, but I’ll also make sure to leave out any ugly details that would encourage you to leave my blog. See how thoughtful I am?

To begin, this blog is intended to be a barely focused hodge-podge of ideas, inspiration, art, and important truths about the world around us. I am an avid learner and explorer, and I feel that some of the things I find along the way deserve to be explored. My interests are wide and I’m not going to attempt to narrow them down for the sake of this blog, but I do promise to always deliver content that is worth your time, even if it’s just interesting information or beautiful photos of an adventure.

I don’t believe in “right” or “wrong” as much as what “works” and what “doesn’t work”. I am deeply passionate about humanity and everything that comes with it (the good, and the bad, and even the ugly). I want to make the world a better place, and help people understand the purpose that they have for being here on this planet. This is a reality that we may never fully understand, but it is our purpose as humans to find as much meaning as we can within it. To explore and experience.

I was once told that because my parents were unmarried and not expecting me when they found out they were pregnant, that there must be great purpose for my life. I desire to expand that purpose to its greatest capacity.

I believe in love, in hard work, in acceptance, in kindness, in joy, and in truth, as some of the fundamental principles that guide my life and the world around us. I don’t believe in a creator but I believe in the amazing fact truth life exists despite the odds.

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Be like a plant. Grow whether someone takes good care of you or not. (I’ve killed 3 plants in the past year, but not this fighter.)

I’m from KS, USA (not a Trump supporter, though), and have lived here my entire life. My hometown hosts the Kansas State Fair annually and is also known for its population of meth addicts. I’ve traveled to roughly 40 states and enjoy nothing more than seeing a new site. I think making friends and spreading love are some of the most important things that I can do as an individual. I believe that knowledge is what will unite our world above all else.

The ocean is my happy place but nature as a whole is something that I could not live without. I am a vegetarian, which began for health reasons, but became a lifestyle because it lines up ethically with who I want to be. I enjoy music, art, deep conversation, documentaries/podcasts/books, and experiencing new things.

I’m a really small person, which is nice because people tend to underestimate me, and then it’s easier to kick their ass later. I think appearance is a generally redundant thing, and once the Singularity happens we can all create our own virtual realities where our faces are replaced by different kinds of donuts. Yes, I have big dreams.

I once won 2nd place in a photography contest, 3rd place in a pie-eating contest, and I was 6th in my class in high school (out of roughly 350). My athletic abilities end with disc golf and back floating. I have one younger sibling, which means as the oldest I have a natural ability to lead as well as a tendency to be a rebellious piece of shit. I probably sometimes smoke too much weed… but that’s a conversation for another day. I grew up in a Baptist church but currently don’t identify with any particular belief system. Both of my parents were addicts, mildly unprepared to be adults, but still people that I can call my best friends to this day.

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The past doesn’t matter when you’re a plant. Use plant-like strength to move on. (Original photo)

I’ve had a variety of pets in my life, which is actually really important. I had 2 hermit crabs, but one of them got a crab STD from a dusty shell and carried it to the other. I had a childhood cat that enjoyed attacking me from under my bed and biting me in my sleep. I had a pet albino corn snake that was abandoned at a rental house that my grandparents owned. The snake escaped in the middle of winter and we never saw him again (His name was Sneaky, which was very fitting). I had a pet iguana (also adopted from a rental) who decided to become anorexic and kill himself. I had a pet Yorkshire terrier who escaped from my backyard one night and got hit by a car. I once lived with my mom’s boyfriend and his 3 parrots that walked around the house and shit everywhere (I considered killing them a lot… not my best days). I was once bitten on the forehead by my grandma’s horse, to which she responded “you were touching her wrong.” I was once chased into a bathroom facility by an angry pigeon. I also once ran over a pigeon. These stories pale in comparison to the things that I’ve seen human beings do, however. Animals rock.

I now have two cats, who will very likely make their way onto this blog at some point. I also have a pet boyfriend that I’ve had for almost 5 years. Things are generally good between us. We frequently debate over who is more weird and/or who is more delusional.

This is my diary for only the MOST exciting slices of my life. I promise, it’s only up from here, dude. Would you like to dream along?


4 thoughts on “A late first impression (5 min read)

  1. rawgod says:

    What I love about animals, Elayne: They don’t judge you, or screw you around. Once they love you, it is FOREVER. You go, girl.
    BTW, love the spelling of Elayne. Bet it wasn’t you mother who spelled it that way, lol.


  2. artalexiusr says:

    ‘I’m a really small person, which is nice because people tend to underestimate me, and then it’s easier to kick their ass later’ love the attitude. As for me you may be one of the taller people than most I have come across, basis your writing.

    Liked by 1 person

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